So...that procrastination thing...

It's funny how things work, isn't it? I recently wrote about procrastination, and here I am procrastinating ( I have to write two papers this evening) and looking at writing jokes. Here's a notable one:


Avoid alliteration. Always.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Contractions aren't necessary.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

One should never generalize.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

Be more or less specific.

Understatement is always best.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be avoided.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

In a World Full of Manuscript Editing Monotony...There is Still Hope

If you read the title in the big, echoing announcer voice I imagined it in, kudos.
If it tweaked your interest and got you excited, even better! But I'm not writing a post today... I'm posting a link:

YOU MUST READ THIS. IT MIGHT MAKE YOUR DAY.

And now, back to midterm studies...

From: A Traveler's Tale

Although editing is a riveting, interesting, thoroughly enjoyable occupation of my time,I often find myself in the need of a reprieve.Did I say often? I meant OFTEN.

Editing can be monotonous, especially if you're also an English major and spend the majority of your time writing/editing anyway.

To break the monotony, I take breaks. Sometimes I actually do something that involves standing and looking away from the computer screen. But only sometimes. The rest of the time I spend writing more things that I will eventually have to edit. Ironic, isn't it? So, without further ado, here is one of those things:


From: A Traveler’s Tale

From thence we came perchance to find
That others, there were, like us
And mayhap we could all unite
So none could ever bind us
Straight to this work we did approach
We had no other goal
Alas, too late, we did embark
Too late to save our souls
And never more would our daring throng
Approach the foaming sea,
And never more, no never more, dream of liberty
Cruel men had bound, no chained, our hearts
Until we must obey them
Now land, and air, and even sea
Are but an ultimatum:
We must, who once roamed free throughout,
Dwell in this land so small,
Or else, like ants, be trod and tramp’d
Until they’ve killed us all.